the month my sister turned 26, she took her marital vows. three months later, she and her husband completed the traditional marriage rites, wedding dinner and all. i spent the month leading up to this day wondering whether my ex might text (he hasn’t).
the sense that the grass is greener on the other side shows itself at times like these. my sister has stated before that she is sometimes jealous of my carefree lifestyle – no familial commitments except to my parents while she has a husband and a daughter to take care of too, no big financial obligations because im not eligible for affordable public housing yet plus i don’t drive… instead i jet off whenever the holidays roll around, adventures that she can’t afford the time, money and energy for.
what she doesn’t seem to realise is that i look at her family and wonder what’s wrong with me. i want to love and be loved. i could be persuaded to give up the travelling to spend time with my beau. i would make sacrifices for him, too.
but what im left with is a quarter-life crisis, with unfortunately enough self-awareness to loathe myself for being so self-absorbed when there are far more serious problems out there where i may be able to make a difference were i to humble myself and get to work.
do people ever grow out of lamenting singledom? or will this nudge my heartstrings till the day i meet someone or meet my maker?